Jessica de Vreeze

My nephew’s birthday…

On the other side of the ocean.

My father’s birthday was two days ago…

Also on the other side of the ocean.

We are all scattered across the map.

And yet, deeply connected—always missing each other until we meet again.

Missing being in Paris these days, to be with my parents… to be “home.”

And missing my daughter, still studying in Amsterdam for a few more months.

I was thinking of something Georgia O’Keeffe once said:

“I was afraid most of my life… but I did it anyway.”

Today, I finally put into motion something I’ve been circling around for the past 8 months.

Avoiding it, postponing it… because it required skills I don’t have.

I tried to hire someone—many times. It didn’t work.

So yesterday, I gathered my courage, went to the lumber yard, and asked them to cut the pieces based on measurements I had checked over and over again.

Was I confident? Not really.

I’m not great with a drill. I was honestly afraid.

So I asked for help.

A friend came. I had done all the preparation, and he did the hands-on work—while reminding me that patience is needed most of the time.

And something I keep telling myself became clear again:

At some point, no matter how strong your vision is,

you cannot do everything alone.

When ideas grow bigger than your hands,

you need other hands.

Not because you are incapable—

but because you are expanding.

I’m in that space right now.

In many areas of my life.

And at the same time, I’m learning to honor both:

Moments to act.

Moments to rest.

Moments to build.

Moments to pause.

Moments to be with others.

Moments to be with myself.

To read.

To create.

To show up.

To step back.

And above all—

to be grateful.

This past week…

• Finished reading The Pot Thief and D. H. Lawrence, and started Un garçon s’il vous plaît

• Watched three James Bond movies with Sean Connery (two with my husband)

• Attended a women’s Torah class

• Saw The Lesser Leyendecker opening play at CGTF

• Celebrated Carolina’s birthday 🎂

• Shared a coffee with a neighbor

• Had a drink and conversation at the sailing club (note to self: eat lunch before margaritas…)

• Spent time with family—across oceans, over the phone

• Finished a painting (still drying, still waiting…)

• Took care of the home—laundry, meals… attempted challah (not quite there yet)

• Managed admin, social media, inventory, frames, photos, orders

• Worked on grants (a little)

• Showed Unchained Mothering exhibitions and had meetings for it

• Walked our dog every day

• Picked up and dropped off our son (with help from my husband 🤍), took him to the dentist

• Went to the doctor, did groceries

• Attended a board meeting

• Took many phone calls—private and business

And…

Ate a donut for the first time in 8 years.

(Gluten allergy—apparently no longer an issue… still processing this miracle.)

Also had a cookie. And a bagel.

Let’s just say… it was a gluten week.

Did not manage to exercise.

Who am I kidding 😄

And now, looking back…

It was full.

Very full.

No wonder I feel tired—

a little overwhelmed—

even while feeling happy and grateful.

And still…

that quiet voice that says it’s never enough.

Learning to hear it—

but not always follow it.

✨

With Love and Light

Jessica aka Hopeje

Next week is a big one ahead—

work, finishing grant submissions, meetings, visits, hosting dear friends, Night at the Museum, more birthday celebrations… and my kids’ exams.

PS : list open, also went to the vet! And more 🤣

PPS: attempted to see my friend Kristen both of us too busy, or free at alternative times!